fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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