Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
