So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
