i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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