Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
