it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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