He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
