So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
