Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
They have beer where we have blood.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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