you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
