Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
