My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
