3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
