if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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