Christians are straight up FREAKS
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
