He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
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