And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I could fuck to npr.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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