i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
