I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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