I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
