no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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