I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
