I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
