He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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