I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
