I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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