would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
