i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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