It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
