so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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