u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
