He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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