I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
