I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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