My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize