i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
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