We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
