Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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