the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
