i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
