TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
