Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
