Who did Billy Mays play for?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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