She said her name was "party"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
