there's paper in my vomit.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
