you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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