Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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