Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
