Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
