did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
