Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
