Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
