I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize