Is it normal to miss your booty call?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
