i barfeds in our rink
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
