Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
