No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
