no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
