If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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