Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize