I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
