More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
