He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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