i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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