First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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