Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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