I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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