In the future we'll all be gay
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
